i may or may not be watching the land before time
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
