If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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