I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
