Acid is not a monday night drug
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
