someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
