Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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