So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
