Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
