hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
