I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize