the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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