literally had 100 drinks last night.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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