No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
