I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
