Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
