I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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