i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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