I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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