is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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