THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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