I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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