who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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