I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
