My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
