don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
