11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
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He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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