The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
