***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
