My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
