Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
