is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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