Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
