There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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