I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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