problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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