Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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