can u get pink eye on your cock?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
