i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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