did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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