I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No I am not eating basil off your cock
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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