well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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