I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
