do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
