So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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