You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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