i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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