what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You made out with two different species that night
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
