Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
