A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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