thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm really into asian looking animals
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
