So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
