My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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