I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
