So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
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Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You're like the curious george of whores
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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