You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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