So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize