On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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