I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
