Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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