so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
